Having a blog is not always a paradise or a dream. Among all the fans, daily texts, likes and sponsored gifts, comes the haters. The people who simply hates you, for having success in life. Along the past couple of years I didn’t meet these people very often, and it was easy to ignore them since I didn’t know them. They were hiding behind a computer screen somewhere.
When it comes to people you see daily; people you see at school; people you see at work; people you see in your town, that is something completely different.
I remember the first time I dealt with people who didn’t like me. Through whole middle school I did not have any real friends. No one at school liked me – in fact, they hated me. I was called all these names that I don’t even want to mention. I was told that when I grew older, people would be different.
I feel completely stupid for believing that for a short time. As I’ve grown older, I am now 18, I’ve realized, that some people just never change.
Moving to a different country, a different town, a different school without knowing anyone was a big step for me. A step I was so proud of taking. I’ve always been fascinated of traveling and learning about other cultures. Ever since I visited United States for the first time in July 2010, I was in love. In love with this country who had Grand Canyon, Yosemite, gigantic supermarkets with 3 different isles of candy, and friendly people who I had never met asking me “how are you?”. I remember my sister and I, talking about moving here. When we were planning vacations with our beloved parents, we would start yelling “U-S-A-U-S-A-U-S-A”. It was in 9th grade I found out that I wanted to go on an exchange year here.
It was overwhelming getting here, but I couldn’t be more happy and proud of myself for going on this adventure. Along the way I’ve met so many awesome people, but fairytales has villains as well.
A few weeks back, when I finally started hanging out with people, I also started to hear a lot of nasty stuff about me. That what I posted on my blog was “shitty”. Getting met by people who in jealousy hates you without knowing you; people who has never spoken to you; people who think they know you, sucks. It literally sucks. And you start asking yourself, is this really what I want?
To those of you who just hate me
I used to blame myself for you hating me. I used to think that maybe I was the wrong one. All this led into a huge misbelieve in myself, and hating myself. I became this quit person, who was afraid to talk to anyone. I know that I am not perfect, and I make mistakes. But the truth is, I finally learned you didn’t have a reason to hate me. It seems like what annoys you about me is simply the fact that I breath. So if you don’t like what I post on my blog, don’t ever read it, watch it or listen to it. No one will force you to it. Use you life on something different. Something that brings you joy and happiness. Use the gifts that God has given you.
Moving on – because I don’t care anymore
I am sorry if you feel like there’s a reason to hate me, without getting to know me first. However, I will never apologize for being me. I will never apologize for being different than you. And I will never give up my blog, because of someone else’s opinion. I will no longer let anyone have that control of me.